The last 3 things God has said to me, app. dates, and my response to them
"Who died and made you king of anything?" Give up Farmville, stop spending so much time on things that don't honor me or make you grow in me... (Feb. March 2011)
My response was to feel convicted, try to spend a bit more time with God, but say "It's too hard to give up my computer things..." and feel more guilt...
"you are fearfully and wonderfully made" (June 2011) - research what that really meant and soak in the words and that God woke me to tell me that, because He needed me to know how He felt so I could grow... this I took to heart and I'm being thankful for lots more about myself than I ever was. If God can tell me so clearly that He took special care in making me me, then WOW I am amazingly made
"He is jealous for me" (June 2011) Again, He wants my time and my affection and He wants to be more important to me than my computer activities... this time, well, I ignored it again. I didn't ACT on it but I soaked in the thoughts more and more often. Still felt such guilt for ignoring it, but spent almost all of the time I was wasting playing on my computer things listening to good teachings and great music
****
Am I enjoying my time alone with God? What should I adjust to enjoy it more?
Honestly, I'm not enjoying quiet time much. I don't sit still and think and do serious things well. At all... I think so much of it is personality, but the deal breaker is all of the things I'd RATHER be doing. Again with the computer and games....
Yesterday if you asked me what I could do to enjoy my time with God more, I'd say No Clue, because I saw no way out of stopping the things I loved more. But last night, with my BSC challenge of the day, I set in my head how today would go, and it included LOTS of discipline. My expectations were that God would show me that what I was "giving up" today to spend time with Him was so worth it that I would long for more of it.
It will take a lot more discipline to keep up with this, because today, I saw the end in sight. But to continue takes more discipline cause I'm going on and on with it. But I want to! So let's see :c)
****
Would I say I'm feeding on the milk or the meat of God currently? What would it take to get there?
Milk, absolutely! I need to be hand fed and pushed and prodded, but I'm actively LOOKING to be pushed along! And I'm looking forward to the day I am on to the meat, and able to share and push and prod and help others along... It's been prophesied over me that I will be the nurturer one day, and that I will be off the desert path and into green pastures, and in to the Joy of the Lord, and I'm going to keep poking along until I get there...
So I guess it will just take not quitting and pushing myself a bit further at every opportunity. I know where I want to be and I'm going to try as hard as I can stand at every chance.
****
If I'm a Bible teacher or one who shares counsel and encouragement with others, how do I see the depth at which I do this? How are people responding?
Funny question, because how I see it and how people respond are totally different. I FEEL as if the things I'm sharing and trying to encourage people in are really from MY opinions. This was covered in the book and I was convicted - people aren't getting anything worthwhile if I'm expressing my opinions. I should be expressing words from God. I don't feel wise enough or far enough along in my journey to be expressing words from God. While I FEEL like they are my opinions, I also know that I'm not letting myself say things that I feel are WRONG or anti God's teachings... I try to express love and forgiveness and joy and seek out God and....
I need to immerse myself more in God's word so that His thoughts come through me to others who need it.
I have been told since I've been reaching out to others that what I am saying and doing and encouraging is really helping them find more of God
No comments:
Post a Comment