KS - D2

I wanted to write more yesterday, but I went to sleep by 8 last night - so tired.  Last night's Bible readings were GREAT for me.  They were Acts 2, and Leviticus 1-3.  Acts 2 covered so many things that have been pressing on my spirit - being filled with the Spirit and the early church - their love for God, their power, and the success God gave them.  THOSE are the things I want to focus on praying for during this fast.  Leviticus was on offerings - it tied right in with the start of Acts 2, which discussed how so many Jews were horribly broken when they realized what they did to Jesus, thus growing the church...  Leviticus was what it entailed before Jesus shed his blood for us.

Ken made me a cup of fat free hot broth - such a treat!  V8 and broth will be my biggest treats.

Yesterday was not very difficult for me at all.  I think it was the idea that I'm day one into 40 of them, so one day is nothing and I will not get frustrated yet certainly LOL

KS - Day 1 Fast

Morning:
I woke up as I expected.  I am completely freaked out, but praying constantly - my heart just reaching out to God.  "Fasting is one of the most neglected spiritual admonitions."  - Dr. Bill Bright, on "Your Personal Guide to Fasting and Prayer".  Right there, if fasting is important to God, and my heart is as right about doing it as I can get right now, then God has to keep me going.  Ohhhhh, I had a prophetic word spoken to me / over me, at IHOP when I started finding the REAL God, Who is fun and powerful and amazing and funny...  God's plan for me is not drudgery, boring work, or horrible.  God's plan for me is a supernatural circus, with tents filled with amazing things - she said "with pop corn over here, and cotton candy over there"  :)  I don't even know what else can be fun, what else could be in those tents...  So maybe I will be visiting the other tents for the next FORTY DAYS?!!!  I have yet to face that reality, and I really hope that how long to fast comes literally to me out loud or in a dream - but very clearly, or else in a time of weakness, I could cave because someone has a birthday and it would be rude to not eat their cake LOL.  I know weakness will also come when I want to tell people what I am doing, or talk too much and have to explain.  

God, place me in Your bubble of protection.  Help me to see what you want, and do what you want, and remain untouched by things that can hurt me, and our experience....

DD - More on Discipleship

Bible Lab.....  1/83

The Holy Spirit points us to Jesus Christ... Jesus points us to the Father... we point people to Jesus Christ as Saviour, Lord, Baptizer, Deliverer, Healer, King of Kings and Lord of Lords...

Romans 15:14..."we are competent to counsel others.."  (Wms. Translation)

Qualifications for the Servant / Leader who will counsel others:

I. To be under authority - one who has submitted to training, been under discipline and instruction.  (Luke 6:40, Galatians 6:6, Galatians 5:6, Acts 17:11, 19:10-12, Acts 20:31)
God uses training which corrects, molds, and strengthens.
Having already been coached / trained and drilled.
--Jesus disciples us... we have many teachers.
--To be discipled fully by 1 other person in a lifetime is God's ideal... (handout on Rosh Kodesh) which can be found on this blog already I think
--Bible Role model - 1 Teacher at a time--teaching a learner.  Many teachers in a person's life.  First, a disciple- then a leader.... Jesus discipled his disciples--John, his own... Paul discipled Timothy for a time,  I Timothy 1:2.  Paul discipled Titus, II Timothy 2:1, Titus 1:4, and Onesimus, Philemon... (i.e. if someone is Pastor's for a time- do not interfere--do you want to give an accoNT

KS - Fasting prep night

I do not have this all planned out.  I waffle between being very at peace, excited, and scared to death...  I borrowed Krystal's juicer and plan to do a juice fast.  I am aiming for 40 days and am going in with a stick to it attitude.  I will beg friends to support me when I want to quit.  I can not imagine going from a food obsessed, "what do I get to eat??" with every step and breath girl, to someone who has completed a 40 day fast.  I would be so "proud"  (not a very holy word or thought, but I aim to be very honest here.

My goals are many and disjointed (which, from my reading, is not idea either).  I am doing this because food is what I go to instead of God.  When I wake up in the morning, I think of what is planned for the day and how I will eat in those plans.  Pretty sure I will wake up tomorrow and realize I have started fasting, and my heart will sink.  But then I will look forward to the juice, and remember why I am doing this, and reach out to God.  I am also giving up AT LEAST Facebook, but I really may have to give up my entire computer.  I think I will need it - for the blogging portion and recipes for juicing and support from my friends.  As I ramble and have to aim in my ramblings - I think I was on to goals.  I am asking God for VISION.  I want to see Him for who He REALLY is, not as my flawed human mind imagines or how my religious upbringing has taught.  I want to see how God views me.  I want to be broken and sorry and without pride.  I want to say "I'm sorry" and not choke. When I have broken and lay out empty and bleeding before Him, I want Him to show me who I really am, to engrave that image in my heart and mind, and for me to live as His daughter - no longer beating myself up, weak and self-loathing.  I want VISION for the world as God wants me to have it - I want to see spiritual warfare (if it's His will), but mainly, I want to see the broken and needy, to love and reach out as He intends for me....  VISION means all that God wants to open my mind to, to heal my mind to.....  I want to be whole for Him.

So, yes, I am scared, and hopeful.  I KNOW that God has amazing plans for me.