KS - D11

Why does being home suck??  God woke me up early today and I walked with Him and Baxter and we had a GREAT talk.  It was focused and He spoke back.  In the start of the talk, I told Him I was sorry I wasn't doing a good job at the spiritual part of this fast, and before I got it all out, He said "you are."  I felt like it was the greatest pat on the back.

Church worship was amazing today.  For the past few Sundays, I have been aware of the singing around me, and not individually, but all together, praising God.  And how beautiful it was.  Today, the songs and the sounds were beautiful and soooo reaching out to God.  It's like I could see or feel it.  I know if I weren't in the Spirit that it would have sounded off tune or disjointed, but because I was so in tune with His Spirit today, like lots of other Sundays, it was beautiful....

I got another clear message from God - that children are dying all of the time and to stop holding onto my money.  I also think He's saying that if I give it away, I will have more when I need it, when He calls for it again.  My money is going to World Vision for now.

But then I get home and Ethan doesn't look up from his giant blue headphones, and Erin has her's on so loud she can't possibly hear me, and feeling tempted and unsure, I ask Ken if I look any healthier, and he says "That's an odd question."  To me that means I look like crap and he is just barely nice enough to not say that.  He let me walk away and I did.  MAD.  Mad is gone already, but I'm still grumpy with him.

Food is sooooooo much of a temptation to me now.  I'm having a hard time.  And when I got home, I was tempted to quit, to break fast.  But after my time with God today, and having read that around day 15 I should feel amazing, and all toxins should be gone from my body, I want to continue.  When I told God I was sorry I wasn't doing well on this fast, and He said "you are.", He didn't say quit.  If I were going to hear from God, He would have said to stop, not that I'm doing well.  There, I wrote to friends for some encouragement and prayer.  I'm going to my parents to chat too.