I am too tired to write. But I want to record something for day 5. So clearly I am extremely prone to being tired. I always have been, but with fasting, I REALLY need an extra nap after work. Today I won't get one and that makes me dejected.
I am googling 40 days fasts, because I want to see real life effects of fasts. I want to see people's highs and lows and what happened to them along the way. I wish I could document better. I haven't read a really good experience one yet...
So I'm still hungry. I am not drinking a lot of juice. I seem to have "3 meals a day" - a cup of V8 in the morning, one at break time and one in the evening. I drink watered down 100% juice when I am socializing and it is around. And some evenings I have hot vegetable broth. That feels nice. I go for a bit of a walk every day, which is good for chatting with God, because I'm a nature lover and it's one of the ways I really reach out to Him. One of my prophetic sessions told me that God feels about me the way that I feel in nature and I LOVE that.
I read constipation is an issue, and because I haven't had a problem with it yet, I am taking one Senekot in the evening.
I feel like God will ask me to put away my computer and phone sometime in the fast, because it's still easy to avoid quality time with God. All of my previous days (four of them LOL) I have just spent all day walking with Jesus - chatting, praying for people and things in short spurts when they come to mind. But it's cool, because He has been right beside me, giving me peace and calm. Today I am still peaceful and calm and social when I need to be, but I'm not feeling a lot like chatting with Him like the other days. I would REALLY like to lay down, close my eyes, and ramble to Him as I fall asleep right now.
My focus in the spiritual realm has been very weak. I have spiritual (and maybe real ADD LOL - certainly no hyperness at all!!) I have also been most attacked mentally. I feel often like I'm not doing this for the right reasons, and not spending enough time with God. I am aware that I have 30 lbs to lose and today I've measured myself (nothing has changed) and I weigh myself every day and I've lost almost 10 lbs according the my scale (but it's new to me, so it's a bad gauge) and my clothes do not fit any differently I think. But again, this is for informational purposes and so I'm going to be very honest. I did not set out on this for physical benefits at all. That came after I obeyed God and did this thing I thought was impossible. When I was researching after I had started, there were a lot of websites that included physical benefits and it opened my eyes in a not good way as far as I'm concerned... I've also been attacked in the areas I was most reaching out to God on - how I view myself and how I love others, and a specific temptation I really thought I was over. Last night in our teen "not your parent's church!!" my mind kept floating without reason to my temptation and the second I realized it, I prayed and asked God to guard my mind, but it kept floating there in my praise - constantly - like breathing.
I'm done writing for now :)
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