So I've made it a week. Yesterday I did a computer fast - until late evening when I "caved" with the excuse that I had to do my Bible plan reading that is online. So I glanced at my email (which is what I wanted to cave for) but had nothing good and left. I checked FB messages, but there was nothing good, so I listened to my Bible and did nothing else on the computer. I spent 2 minutes cheating. I will have to work up to the idea of computer fast. I have added new dimensions to this fast because I know I have things I like to do instead of spending time with God, and I want to find ways to enjoy God time. I also added because while I felt like I was walking right alongside Jesus for what? 4 days? I have been sooo spiritually disconnected and lazy. Tiredness and caving to my temptation thoughts (SIN!) were my excuses and battles. I do NOT know what people are talking about when they say they have so much more energy. Or that hunger subsides. I always feel hungry, but no more hungry than when I have skipped a meal - it's not painful or anything.
What WAS painful was I guess constipation? I was having stomach pains higher up all morning yesterday. It was like gas pains, but maybe in a different spot. It got so bad I started making faces when it would come. I got together with friends for Bible study, a walk, and juicing, and one husband made me an epsom salt laxative drink. It kicked in in less than 2 hours and Ugh, it's not like me to be graphic, but stuff poured out whenever I had to use the bathroom. It's still coming out easily. It was painless and while it TASTED horrid (the epsom salt, not the stuff pouring out LOL!!)!!!! I will do it again in a few days when this time seems to have stopped working. One friend and I did our mile nice walk. We had dinner and Bible study and I went to bed.
This morning, God woke me up an hour early again. While I was laying there wondering why and what I should do with it, Esther came to mind. So I will read the book of Esther. I read chapter one and all of the commentaries around it.
Anyway, I'm spiritually disconnected and not loving it. But apparently it happens, so I'm clearly sticking to this. I have read somewhere online, I think by Lou Engel, that he advocates a fast to be rid of dangerous temptation and in the article, I have been becoming aware that I should continue until I have breakthrough. This scares me, because my battle is always around me, and gives me enjoyable thoughts, and fills empty spaces in a pleasurable but unhealthy way, and while I pray for it to be gone from me, I wonder if it's in vain, because a lot of my mind doesn't want to let go.... but I pray for it to let go.... Gotta go! LOL
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